30 Day Health Experiment (w/ before and after photos)

 Last month I hurt my knee, or it hurt it self, the exact cause is still a mystery, but regardless I was forced to stop running and gain as much holiday weight as possible.  It was obligatory.  Now that the holidays are over, and unfortunately my knee is still weird, I have had to find a new way to get into shape and attempt to see my abs.

For thirty days I took our puppy for a 2.5 mile daily walk and every hour, for 12 hours a day, I did 20 pushups.  I did this while recommitting to a plant based whole food diet.  What were the results at the end of that thirty days?...

As you can see by the pictures below, there was a remarkable increase in muscle mass and overall vigor.  What most surprised me, however, was the increase in height.  One does not expect, over the age of forty, to get any taller, but as you can see, there is clearly 4 inches gain in height.

In conclusion, I highly recommend those looking for a more humane, healthy way of eating, to give WFPB a try and get to walking.

Ready to play with stingrays off the coast of Grand Cayman

I'm late.  I promised every other Friday and instead, its Monday night and I'm just now getting this done.  But, I hope you'll forgive me.  Salt water and MacBooks don't mix and I was with my beautiful wife on a cruise in the Caribbean.  Although, due to the forces of nature, I wasn't able to dive, we did have a wonderful time and it was certainly nice to leave the government craziness and cold weather behind for a week. 

This trip included Jamaica, Grand Cayman,

Paradise Island (also where they film Corona Comercials)

and the always fun Cozumel.  The people in Jamaica were wonderful, friendly, and full of life, but the weather was bad and the beach chilly.  Grand Cayman (my dive location for the trip) was beautiful—apparently the currents prevented the dive.  We swam with Stingrays on a sandbar off the coast and saw sea turtles at the sanctuary.  Definitely one of the more built up islands with sections rather indistinguishable from the United States or England.  And Cozumel.  If you aren't having a good time in Cozumel, you're hopeless.  We took a speedboat to Paradise Island and laid out on the white sandy beach and swam in water a clear postcard blue-green.

But I'm back now, and hopefully back on track with deadlines, posts, and podcasts.  The first reviews for Scarlet and the Queen of the New World have been fantastic.  A few highlights:

Drinking Cortadito in the Havana Bar on the ship  

"I just can not say enough wonderful things about this series! From the first page in the first book, you are completely drawn in!" Sarah P.

"This book is amazing as its predecessors." Erin Tucker

"I have waited close to a year for this book, and I have to say, I was not disappointed!!!"

Novel Motivations

With the release of Scarlet and the Keepers of Light underway, I find my myself, like many an author, drifting to thoughts of sales, media schedules, and book rankings?  How many kindle downloads did I have today?  Have the paperback sales gone up this week?  How can I better engage the public?  How do I get more people involved in spreading the word?  Not thoughts I'm likely to stop having in the near future (if I'm being realistic), but it does provide an opportunity for a little self reflection.

All to often in our goal oriented, success is king, winner take all society, it is easy to lose sight of what is vital.  What truly nurtures us, and brings about happiness.  I know when I decided to become an author, although it is probably more accurate to say, when I decided to begin writing (I've always been a writer), I didn't do so with the idea that one day I would be rich and famous.  I wanted to tell stories.  I wanted to share my imagination with others, and move them to smile, laugh, inspire a sense of awe, and yes, even move them to tears.  These are certainly my prominent motivations while I'm immersed in writing, but those intentions get easily muddled once a book is released.  When we begin with passion and promise in an endeavor in which success is traditionally marked by money, our original intentions, our Panglossian views, get lost in the day to day grind of responsibilities, deadlines, and financial obligations.

Before you click away, I am not suggesting that you dismiss all traditional concepts of success, give up all your worldly possessions, and become a carefree monk in the Himalayas (as a side note, not even monks are carefree).  However, taking a step back to live in the moment, to remind ourselves of truer, more edifying motivations is exactly what is needed to bring about happiness.  Is there a goal any more universal than that?  If your an American, it's even in your Declaration of Independence.

Now, some of you might be thinking, "right, easy to say for the guy who spends a third of the time fighting fires and saving babies, and the other two thirds, as Neil Gaiman would put it, 'making stuff up, and writing it down.'"  Perhaps you work in a cubicle you hate, at a job you don't enjoy, and the only reason you go everyday is to make money to feed your family.  My problems are not at all like your problems.  And yet, we are all more alike then often we realize.  As a firefighter and paramedic, I rarely fight fires, and I rarely save babies.  I deal with paperwork, people who call at three in the morning because they have a cold, and fire alarms at the same location five times because the system is malfunctioning.  It isn't often that I wake up at 4:30 and bounce out of bed thinking, "I get to go to work today!"  To be honest, I don't know that I've woken up at 4:30 in the morning and been happy about much of anything.  I find though, once I triple check my alarm clock to confirm that it is actually 4:30, shake out the cobwebs, and have a cup of coffee, that I am in full control of how I decide to live the day.  I can let myself get bogged down in the minutia, or I can look at each moment as an opportunity to bring and receive joy.  Whoa, got a bit touchy feely again there, sorry.  I can choose to be annoyed at having to stop what I'm doing, and rush out to a call that is likely nonsense, or I can focus on the knowledge that every time the sirens blare on the fire engine, there is some little kid looking up at his mother and squealing "fire truck, fire truck."  I can focus on the fact that although there is really nothing I can actually do to help in a lot of situations, my presence brings a sense of relief and security to the person that called 911.  Sure, I have to work today on book selling stuff rather than writing my next novel or a great blog post, but the harder I work to get my books into the hands of readers, the more smiles there will be on the faces of those who experience them.

David Grubin's, "The Buddha" (Asterisk Animation / PBS)

Someone once said, some 2500 years ago, "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world."  Your attitude, your approach to life's situations, your noble motivations are what determines the happiness you give and receive in this life.  Sometimes you have to stop, breath, and remind yourself that your life is more than the sum of money, tasks accomplished, and trophies won.  We have to live in the real world, and so to say that such things are without value is silly, but they are of minor importance in the grand scale of life.  What is important, of true value, is this moment, and whether or not you chose to be present in it.
 

Marine Corps Marathon

To Donate to My Livestrong MCM Page CLICK image below:

Click to Donate

For those who might follow my blogs, you'll know that it has been a big year for me with regards to my health.  I went from 205 to 159 pounds, switched to a whole foods, plant based diet, and began really exercising; it is worth noting that I have been a bit of a lazy bones this winter, but I've kept the weight off.  Part of this transformation I owe to, what seemed at the time, my friend's ludicrous idea to take part in the Tough Mudder, an 11 mile obstacle race dubbed "probably the toughest event on the planet."  It gave me motivation, kept me honest, and most of all gave me a great, life changing experience.  I was eager from the moment we finished to find next year's goal.  My dream of Marine Corps Marathon greatness was born.

The Marine Corps Marathon is not an easy event to join.  It is quite popular and located just miles from a highly populated area, Northern Virginia and Washington D.C.  My original thought was to form a charity team with my buddy; again, not so easy.  Then I thought I would run in the 1775 Marine Corps Run; entry to the Marine Corps Marathon is guaranteed for finishers.  My buddy got in, I did not.  So, I joined the Marine Corps Marathon Lottery and hoped for the best.  A wandering internet search then provided the opportunity I had originally hoped for along with guaranteed entry into the MCM.
My Uncle Frank was the most recent member of my family to pass away; and he died of pancreatic cancer.  He fought the disease with courage; for he was always caring for others and was essential to the care of my Nana, who was dying of Alzheimer's disease.  Her passing, and then the steady decline of Uncle Frank are part of what led me to examine my own health.  As a paramedic and firefighter, I see the effects of cancer and other debilitating illnesses every time I go to work.  It is heart wrenching for families, and a painful, horrid way to spend your last moments on the earth.
I could not be prouder to be running the MCM with Livestrong and raising money to help find ways to diagnose and treat cancer.  My goal is 1,000 dollars and I would appreciate your help.  Keep in my however, that goals, by their nature, were meant to be met...and then exceeded.

To Donate to My Livestrong MCM page click image below:

A Little Essay About Living

After coming to the realization that I had books on my list of things that I really wanted to accomplish and then coming to the conclusion that it was absurd to have had something so easily accomplished as reading a book on such a list, I promptly ordered War and Peace and got to thinking–and then–to writing:

Let us hunt knowledge for the thrill of the chase, and having captured it, set it free in the menagerie of our minds.  That glorious space without boundaries, where all things are possible and all is magic.
Write with a fountain pen because it makes writing seem special.
Build something yourself even though it's easier to buy it.
Draw pictures that, though they be horrible, fill you with childish delight.
Find dreams worth dreaming–for all dreams are–and discover ways to make them reality so you can dream new ones and truly find the value of living.
Make passion for life, for loved ones, for art, for the unknown, for the yet to be imagined your daily chore.
Just begin.  Three small steps cover just as much ground as one leap forward.
Never shy away from something because it's silly.
Never let feeling childish be a negative emotion.
Play with the same devotion as you work and find work that feels like play to your mind, body or soul.
Feed your body so that it may thrive and so that you may never regret the occasional honey on your tongue.  Remember green is the color of life for a reason.
Believe in dragons, believe in Santa, believe in love and forever.  Believe with that naive heart you are afraid might be broken.
Take care of business like business.  Get it out of your way so that the books are balanced and paid and all else of time is your own.
Treat worry as the ridiculous, shackling emotion that it is.  If you find yourself set to worry, fix that which causes you strife.  If it can't be correct now, prepare for when it can and then cast it from your thoughts until that day.
Look at children as creative geniuses; look at morose geniuses with pity.  Look at the gregarious old man who, in spite of his ailments is smiling, as a sage; look at the negative youth, with all his vigor, as a villain.   
Wake each day with a goal for your mind, a goal for your body and a goal to fill that, which for lack of explanation, we might call a soul–feed it beauty, let it drink of wonder, teach it to love with abandon and let it feel, oh let it feel.
To love, to learn, to play.
To find the glorious in each of our days.
Do this, and call yourself alive.

Becoming a Lesser Man

Yes, to all those friends and family who only remember me as a that athletic high school kid, this...is me.  I know, it's not pretty and I do apologize for subjecting you to such a picture, but, if you keep up with my blog, you know that a twist is on its way.  On April 12, I published a post called Becoming the Ultimate Me in which I talked about how the death of my grandmother had effected me and started first, a quest toward recovering my fledgling memory and then had inspired me to fully evolve from my quickly devolving self.  Just look at this guy to the left here.  This guy is supposed to be a fit firefighter.  This guy gets winded without crisis fueled adrenaline just walking up a couple flights of stairs and can't remember why exactly he went upstairs and what he was supposed to be getting there.  Not good.
Now, I'd like to say that I woke up one morning, was shocked at how this weight and loss of higher memory function had snuck up on me, but that's not how it went down.  I knew.  I watched without even bothering to try and fool myself as my flat stomach rounded and my fitness began to decline.  Luckily for me, there was never anything debilitating about gaining weight.  No diabetes or heart disease.  With the exception of the fat, I was still quite healthy.  But I was also only 35 years old.  My health I owed solely to good genetics and youth.  Well, while my genetics might be a rather permanent part of myself, youth was not.  Mid-thirties will be mid-forties before I knew it and then mid-fifties.  And what is the number one indication of heart disease and general poor health in a men?  Belly fat.  All those visceral inches hanging over my belt.  Youth would fade and with it, my health.  Tick, tick, tick...  Oh, and I snored.  I didn't used to, but to my wife's lament, I sure did now.
Life is funny.  I've given myself plenty of ultimatums over the years, made many a promise to myself and set in motion any number of plans to get in shape.  Some success followed by failure.  Rinse and repeat.  55 days ago, I promised my wife that for her birthday (she got some real presents too) I would not snore.  The following is what happened next.

Becoming the Ultimate Me...

Fifty-five days.  That's what I'm giving myself.  I've been on a bit of a quest of late, actually since the passing of my Nana, to better myself.  While my focus has been on my mind, I find it's time to expand my focus.  I've also learned enough about myself over the course of the past 35 years to know that without a challenge (betting, double dog dare style, usually work best) I fall away from my goals.  So 55 days worth of eating like a Timothy Ferris, whole foods addict and regular exercise is my promise to my lovely wife and my challenge to myself.  I'll let you know on June 2nd whether I win or lose this challenge, but making it incited me to share some of what I've learned over the past few months regarding memory, cognition and some mentalist type fun.
If you've visited the What I'm Reading page on my blog you have seen the list of books I read regarding memory and cognition.  Some where quite helpful and insightful, some just plain fun and others a bit more on the psychology textbook side.  Altogether though, they enabled me to memorize some pretty useful things related to my work amazingly fast (like in the course of an afternoon), easily remember large numbers, become more observant and even remember what exactly my wife sent me to the grocery store to pick up.

Photograph by Sasse, Author; UPI; March 14, 1941

There is a common misconception that smart people are born that way.  That Einstein was always a genius and Newton the farmer, who did so poorly in school he was eventually removed and was even a miserable failure on his family farm, was born to be a mental incompetent.  Albert Einstein didn't even speak until he was four years old and couldn't read at age seven; his parents and teachers believed him to be handicapped.  Sir Isaac Newton quit farming, found his way to Cambridge and became the father of modern physics.  Sure, people are born with certain innate abilities and as such have advantages over those who aren't quite so lucky.  But the advantages of some do not equate to the limitations of others.  In fact, studies have shown that a person's innate intelligence is far less important than what a person does with their mind.  The work they do in study, their exposure to new thoughts and ideas and their personal motivation.  A less "intelligent" person can far excel the knowledge and intellect of a born genius through study, action and perseverance.


Which brings us to some of the things I have learned over the past few months.  Although by technical definition, using IQ scores and Mensa type classifications, I may be considered a genius, I am far from being as productive or even intelligent as I could or should be.  Just take a quick look had how bad I am at spelling and grammar if you need an example.  A lot of this comes down to laziness.  I never had to try in school and so I rarely did.  I have found in my middle thirties that I have done myself a great disservice and have acquired far less knowledge than I could have.  It saddens me that it took my grandmother dieing to come to this realization but the first thing I learned and will mention, is that it is never too late and regret is a useless emotion.  As a practical learning tool, regret can be quite valuable, but not as an emotional state.  It will only hold you back.  Looking forward then, how does one improve their memory, knowledge and overall intelligence. 


Step one: Read.  Read some more.  And then...keep reading.  There's no shortcut to this, no way around it.  Reading is the best way to improve the way you think, expand your mind and outlook, and learn knew things.  If you don't like to read...too bad.  Start with a subject that interests you, it doesn't matter what it is, and get started.  Even subjects which seem polar opposite of an intellectual endeavor  will lead to crazy things like thoughts and ideas and then to new subjects to explore.  The best thing about reading is that the more you read, the better you get and the more you will enjoy.  Your vocabulary will increase, your knowledge base will grow and before you know it you'll be a much more intelligent person.

Step two: Pay attention.  Might seem like an unusually simple step.  After all, your teachers and parents have probably told you to pay attention countless times.  But that isn't exactly what I mean, or a least isn't the whole of what I'm getting at.  In order to truly experience all the things happening around you, to learn and expand your mind and mental acuity, you have to take an active role in what you see and experience.  As our hero Sherlock Holmes once put it to Dr. Watson, but could have said to any one of us, "you see but you do not observe."  A great deal of the reason people don't remember all that they could or even notice things which might be of benefit or interest to them, is that they don't pay attention.  They go through life on autopilot.  Taking the simple step of actively being attentive will do more for an immediate effect to your memory and retention than any trick or mnemonic you'll learn in the books I've suggested.  In fact, most of those books tell you exactly that.

Step three: Try new things.  People who keep active, both physically and mentally, with knew hobbies, sports and activities, live longer, stay sharper and remain happier.

Step four: Which is really a part of step three, but deserves singling out: Play games.  Crosswords, Sudouko, Video Games, Luminousity, Word-searches, Cards, Boardgames.  All of these activities are simply mind expanding and enhancing workouts for your brain in disguise.  Want to think faster, smarter and longer?  Play games.

Step five: Play around with the myriad of memory devices out there.  From loci, mnemonics and memory palaces to peg systems and mind mapping, you'll be amazed that the feats of memory you can accomplish.  The best book to start with is The Memory Book, but don't stop there.  Dozens of good books are out there and each has a spin that just might resonate with you and open new doors to memorization and learning.  See step one!  

Step six: Eat good stuff.  I'm not talking about dieting to lose weight or build muscle here.  More of that to come after my 55 day experiment.  What I'm talking about is a bit simpler, but often overlooked in today's diets.  You need to add things to your diet that you know are good for you.  Now obviously you can pick up any two diet books and get more contradictory information than you would at a political debate but I'll break it down for you.  You know what things are good for you.  It's the stuff your mom made you eat before you could get up from the table.  Need help?  I'll make it even easier.  If it's green...eat it.  If it's red, orange, purple or blue...eat it.  If you can eat raw...add it to you diet.  The result is the addition of crucial vitamins and micro-nutrients that will keep your brain running at peak. 

Now I'm not an expert by any means, but hopefully I've helped get you started.  Remember step one.  That's where you'll find the expert advice to go with my bit of rhetoric.  I've noticed a great improvement in my life and my desire and ability to learn new things and even hone the knowledge I already thought I had.  Give it a try.  Worst thing that will happen is that you'll read a book you didn't mean to read.  With rare exception, that never hurt anybody.

Brandon

Addendum:  I wrote this post 7 days ago but had not had the opportunity to send it.  That said, I have only 48 days to go in my experiment.  Just to remove any loopholes I might give myself.    

Been a While

The funny thing about time is that it keeps moving whether you're busy or bored, happy or sad, at peace or in a crisis.  I've written before about time with a humorous spin on its passage and our perception of it and I mention it here in my fist post in over three months because I have been lost in the phenomenon and have neglected those of you who might enjoy reading new posts.  A lot has happen in three months: some good, some life changing, and certainly one event which comes sadly with getting older.  So, I'm going to catch you up, apologize for missing many a deadline and then tell the Scarlet fans out there when they can expect Scarlet and the Queen of the New World, sorta.

My Nana, the most beautiful person I've ever known.

My grandmother, my Nana, died a little bit before Christmas.  Alzheimer's Disease had taken her mind and eventually her body, leaving only her beautiful soul as a presence in our lives.  My mother and aunt had worked tirelessly to take care of her and until the very moment she passed, they both gave their mother a peaceful and graceful end with more courage than I could ever imagine.  Courage, it seems, comes in many forms, and in my mother and aunt I saw courage of will, strength, and heart.  I don't know when I will ever see such a selfless display of love and devotion again in my lifetime or something so heart-wrenching and beautiful.  Many people have shaped who I have become as a man, father and husband.  I am far from perfect and sometimes cruel.  Sometimes I'm neglectful.  I have a Peter Pan complex that I know annoys a few of the more responsible people in my life.  Sometimes I drift into my own little world.  Sometimes I am arrogant and quick to irritation.  But when I am at my best.  When I'm loving and kind, humble and self assured.  When I feel like I can accomplish anything if I just give it my all.  When I feel loved...I can't help but think of Elizabeth Charles, my Nana.  And now, when I think of courage, I will think of my mother and aunt.

In addition to being a writer, and unfortunately for those of you who only know me through my books and blog, I am a firefighter.  I spent the past year in paramedic school to upgrade from an EMT and have spent the past few months completing my internship so that I could operate as a Paramedic in my fire department.  It took up a great deal of my time and with the other obligations in my life, I let my writing fall through the cracks.  I'm am happy to say that I'm done and am now a fire fighter/paramedic and thus far it has been a highly rewarding decision.  It has added another dimension to what really is one of the best jobs in the world.

So now, the apology.  In big type large font with a countdown timer, I announced that Scarlet and the Queen of the New World would be released on Christmas.  That didn't happen and I'm sorry.  The book is in its final stages of editing and in an effort not to repeat mistakes I made the first time around, I'm not rushing it to print.  Unfortunately I can only tell you that it will be soon.  I don't want to give a deadline and find out that it can't happen.  As soon as I know, however, I will put out a new timer a week or two out and wait anxiously to hear what everyone thinks of Scarlet's continued adventure.  Look for me back on Twitter and Facebook this week.  If you've written me, I'm not ignoring you specifically, more like Twitter and Facebook as a whole.  It was nothing personal and I appreciate you all more than you know.

Finally, thanks for reading.  I hope my absence hasn't completely chased you all away and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and comments.   
   

Thank You and We Won't Forget

There are many bloggers who will be writing about September 11th today and many will have much more personal, tragic and touching experiences than mine.  I was one of the millions of lucky American's whose loved ones made it through that terrible day without loosing anyone.  But I would like to take a moment to thank the men and women who fight for our country, who safe guard our homes, who aid us when we are ailing and protect us when we find ourselves in danger.  I would to say to the survivors of the attacks, that I share your pain although I know I can never truly understand it.  Despite our differences, so poignantly put on display in an election year, we are all Americans and I wake everyday proud to call this country home.

God Bless

Does Slow and Steady Win the Race?

Caption 1

Well, the re-release of Scarlet and the Keepers of the Light and Scarlet and the Dragon's Burden was yesterday and so far it is off to a very slow start.  As many of you have read on twitter and this blog, my goal for the re-release was 2500 copies sold during the month of September and thus far we have some catching up to do.  However, rather than go over all the particulars again (read the post below for info on the books and contest), I thought I'd take a look at goals in general.
Anytime you go to a class or read a book on success, study habits, handling money, organization, etc..., sooner or later the topic of goals comes up.  Setting goals, according to the experts, is an important step in achieving anything in your life and many us can remember being taught about short term goals, long term goals, lifetime goals, SMART goals, and any number of other acronyms in the quest of bettering ourselves and achieving success.  In many instances, this basic goal setting model is relatively easy to use and how it will achieve success is pretty straight forward.

Let's use an example: Say you want to run three miles without stopping and you want to run it in 30 minutes.  Okay, well, lets break it down.  Three miles in under 30 minutes is the long term goal.  You set short term goals in order to bring yourself ever closer to that long term goal until you achieve it.  First short term goal: Run one mile without stopping, walk for a mile, and then run a mile without stopping.  Do this for one month.  Once you achieve this goal, move on to short term goal number two: Run a mile and a half without stopping, walk a half mile, run a mile.  Eventually, your short term goal will be running three miles straight, then running it faster and faster until your final short term goal is your long term goal.  Simple right?
But what about when your goals are not entirely within your control?  Creates an interesting paradox and often can lead to feelings of failure and eventual surrender.  Take a sales goal as I have set for September.  There are several things that are within my control.  I can tweet, blog and share the information regarding the re-release.  I can make sure that the books I put out for my fans are the highest quality I can produce and tell great, innovative stories.  I can let loose my imagination in a way that makes my characters true and real and my fictional environments palpable and fantastic.  What I cannot do, on the other hand, is make people download or buy them.  While I can try to influence people with the elements I can control, ultimately the decision is out of my hands.  So how does one manage such a goal and possible disappointment?
Partly with a bit of good old acceptance.  There are things which I can control and things that I can not.  All I can really do is make sure that all the things within my power are done to the absolute best of my ability.  That way, even though I can't ultimately control the other aspects, at least I put myself in the best possible position to succeed.  Will it be frustrating if I don't meet my goal for this re-release?  Of course.  But at the risk of sounding like a self-help speaker, every failure is an opportunity to learn how to better succeed.  You see, just like running three miles, not every short term goal is going to work out perfectly.  Although my example seemed rather straight forward, what happens if you throw in an injury, or the local track where you run closes down, or a monsoon moves into the area and you can't go outside for a month.  All of these things would place an obstacle in your path and force you to either give up, or adapt.  The lifetime goal for me is becoming a successful novelist.  Now, I could write an entire post on exactly what that means, but the point in this post is that it is a lifetime goal.  Sure, the sooner the better, but the fact is there are quite a few steps that have to be tackled first.  A lot of short term goals.  Have to write a book, check.  Have to get published, check.  Have to develop a fan base...work in progress.

Caption 2

When a goal is one that requires intervention beyond your control, it automatically brings up an important aspect of achievement that is only sometimes necessary in goals that are achievable with only personal effort.  Help.  Let's go back to the three mile goal for a second.  Now for me, having been in the military and now a firefighter, this goal is one that I could achieve quite easily on my own.  While I'm a bit out of shape, I could go run three miles right now, probably a bit slower than  30 minutes and within a month have my time down.  But what about someone who was never in the military?  What about someone who never played sports as a kid and never has jogged a mile in their life?  What if the person setting the goal weighs 300 lbs?  Might change things a bit.  That person might need to reach out for help.  They may need some kind of intervention to reach what for them, would be a much loftier goal.  There are writers who were born into literary families, who know the right people are who are already famous for other reasons.  For them, they just go out and run a literary three miles and do a bit of work to lessen their times.  For most writers though, we start out weighing 300 lbs and while we might know how to jog, we have no idea where the track is.
So what is the conclusion of all this: Do everything you can to put yourself in a position to succeed, ask for help and be persistent.  After all, even if you aren't able to run three miles in 30 minutes by next year, if you've done everything you can, asked for help and were persistent about running, I guarantee you'll be a healthier, happier person and in the end, isn't that really the lifetime goal.

Caption 1:  mage:Florida Box Turtle Digon3.jpg of a Florida Box Turtle (''Terrapene carolina bauri''). 
Taken in Jacksonville, Florida, USA.}} |Source=Digon3 |Date= April 5, 2008 |Author= “Jo
Caption 2: http://www.imageenvision.com/150/22571-clip-art-graphic-of-a-book-cartoon-character-running-by-toons4biz.jpg

A Bit of Nostalgia

At least once a year, my wife, the kids, and I pack up the car and make our way down to Colonial Williamsburg.  Now although this may not make a lot of sense to those of you who have been, marveled at the recreation of colonial America and now that you have the t-shirt are ready to move on to some other wonder of the continental United States, for us, Williamsburg has always been one of those special places that keeps drawing us back year after year.  Why?  Well there are a number of reasons which I'm sure taken as a whole offer a satisfactory explanation, but as are most things in life, sometimes the answer is 'just because'.
I'm not going to say 'just cuz' however, that would make for a very boring post.  My friends and I all went to the College of William and Mary, which is of course, in Williamsburg, Va.  It was at W&M that I met my wife, fell in love and proposed to her on the Crim Dell Bridge.  It was in my freshman dorm that I finished my first novel and began my second.  Through the W&M Choir I was introduced to some of the most magnificent sights in Europe and even sang mass in St. Peter's at the Vatican.  I could go on, but what it comes down to is that Williamsburg has always felt like home.  The place where I grew as a person and sorta figured out who I was.  I traveled a lot when I was a young as an Army kid and then later on when I joined the Army and so for whatever reason, Williamsburg became a sort of anchor.  A place where all the pieces of my life kind of came together and it has always given me that happy, comforting feeling. 

This year we went over the 4th of July and it was quite cool (actually it was nearly 100 degrees) to be in such a historic place on Independence Day.  On July 3rd the Union Jack flew as always marking the city as a colony of the British Empire and then on the 4th was replaced with the Stars and Stripes lining both sides of Duke of Gloucester.  What's funny though, is that while I was attending W&M, I used to constantly remark on the lack of life the old fogies must have who frequented CW and could even be found wandering about the college grounds.  Fast forward 15 years and I'm wandering around the college with my family, remarking how much things have changed and how much is still exactly the same.  I'm marveling at the history of the place and trying to get my children interested in the splendor of treading on the same ground as Thomas Jefferson and others who formed our country.  Basically, I'm that old fogie with no life.  Although, strange as it may have seemed to my twenty year old self, partying, skipping class and hanging out with my girlfriend (that would be my wife now), I have a lot more of a life now than I did back then.
It's true that I don't drink or party.  I don't go out much at night anymore and when I do it's usually because a call came in at the firehouse.  I don't have plans for Friday night and I was excited when my wife suggested we go to Mount Vernon for father's day.  And the thing is, this shift in activity happened with so gradually that there was never a point when I looked at myself (except perhaps right now) and thought, "man, I am so boring.  I need to get a life."

So take all that together and it brings me to my latest observation.  During this trip to CW, I noticed a shift in my wife and I's attitude toward the place.  Although I enjoyed being there and had laugh or two over some of the familiar places, I no longer felt like I had come home.  As my wife kindly, but matter of factly pointed out when I asked her, "no, even if I lost forty pounds, got a really close shave and some trendy clothes, no one is going to mistake me for a college student." 

Ruining Picasso

Click to view source

I read a story today on MSNBC online about a man in Texas who vandalized Pablo Picasso's painting, Woman in Red Armchair.  You can watch the video and see the original article by clicking here. 

Now for those of you who are immediately appalled and disgusted by this senseless act, I'll give you the positive news upfront: the painting was immediately taken to restoration and the prognosis is excellent that the experts will be able to save and restore the painting.  Apparently the man, who identified himself to a bystander as an "up and coming artist", stated that he defiled the painting to honor Picasso.  Now I can only speculate as what was going through this guy's mind when he decided to pick up his stencils and spray paint and headed out to the Texas museum, but if I was to venture  guess, I would say that the stunt was to get himself noticed.  I don't now that for sure, but it whether or not my theory proves to be true, it got me thinking nonetheless about the desperation, artists, whether they be painters, writers, sculptors, or musicians, feel when trying to be discovered. 

With the introduction of the internet and sites like Facebook and Twitter there are certainly avenues to to try and reach an audience, but often these sites are like trying to get someone's attention by whispering across a very crowded room.  And oh, by the way, there are thousands of other artists in that same room trying to do exactly the same thing.  With few exceptions, those artists who are considered successful have still found a guide of some sort who has access to a megaphone, be it the megaphone of a major record label, a top five publishing house or a well known museum.  How these artists got the attention of these megaphone wielding entities is so varied it borders on mysterious.  Luck, right place right time, who you know, news attention, publicized tragedy or scandal, American Idol.  The list is so long and suspect there is no pattern or formula that can possibly be derived to help out those artist trying to find an audience for their hardwork.

Carpe "Canis" Diem

A week has passed since losing my dog, Banjo, to cancer and I haven't written a word until now.  I'm not sure why, although a part of me thinks it's because she is the inspiration for Cricket in the Scarlet series and I'm not sure how it's going to feel to write her now that she's gone.  Another part of me thinks I'm just finding excuses not to have to face the inevitable.  There is a strange quiet in my mind without her goofy, lovable presence and somehow, if I turn on the creative juices and put them to paper, I'll lose that quiet.  Quiet that is keeping sadness temporarily at bay.  So I'm forcing myself to push away the quiet and reflect a bit instead.  Whether we like it our not, the inevitable always comes and it's better to face it on your own terms then wait for it to ambush you.

It occurs to me that much like in life, in death there are great lessons to be learned from the species so many of us share our lives with.  Certainly devotion, unconditional love, and loyalty are obvious choices, but with such a short time on earth, I believe dogs show us just how precious life is; life that many of us take for granted until we are too old to do much living.  It's not because we are ignorant, or even naive.  Mostly it's because we are too busy with the mundane, day to day grind to really appreciate the time we have.  We go to work, take care of our homes, maybe try to get some exercise, make sure our kids are clean, fed and generally well behaved, go to bed, get too little sleep and repeat.  Twenty, thirty years pass and far too often, that same run on sentence is really all we have to look back on.  When is last time your dog acted as if your coming home was anything but the most unique, special, exhilarating event that has ever happened?  When is the last time she looked at the same old dry kibble you put in her bowl as anything but a feast?

Superdog's Kryptonite

Superdog

I am not the sort of man who see's his pets as children.  Although I am a dog person through and through, dogs are dogs, not people.  That being said, there is something quite special and noble about the canine species that makes them capable of being a part of your family in a way no other animal can.  There is a loyalty and type of love you get from a dog that cannot be duplicated by even the closest human companion.  There is a reason they have been dubbed man's best friend and from the moment the first wolf decided to brave the campfire and cozy up to a caveman somewhere, the human race has been forever changed for the better.

Merry Christmas

A while back I wrote several posts about Banjo the Superdog.  For those of you who did not read those posts, Banjo got her nickname because for nearly six years, the 80lbs Black Labrador Retriever was extraordinarily healthy.  Regardless of what crazy thing she ate, what dangers she got herself into, what lake she swam in (and drank from) she not once was ever injured, sick or in pain.  Last year she developed a growth on her face and while this was Un-Banjo-like, she seemed to recover with only mild intervention from the veterinarian.  This was quite Banjo-like.  Unfortunately, despite Banjo's superdog status, cancer proved to be her kryptonite and after five months of remission, the cancer came back in full force.  It turned out that Banjo was not invincible after all...well, not in the physical sense.
Despite having an aggressive form of nasal cancer, Banjo's spirit, her appetite, and her devotion proved utterly cancer proof.  Not once in the two months that the cancer ravaged her nasal passages, did she refuse to eat a meal or treat, isolate herself from her family, or withhold a lick or snuggle.  Even when the pain was obvious, which for Banjo must have meant quite severe, and the vet prescribed narcotics that should have made her loopy, she was still Banjo.

Define Thyself

When you're introduced to someone, when you have to write a description of yourself, or even when you are just doing a bit of self-evaluation, how do you define yourself?  There are any number of ways in which people see themselves and I think many would take a multifaceted approach, but in the day to day, how do you see yourself?  There is certainly a discrepancy for most between the way the outside would would define them and how they define themselves.  Part of that is because we present ourselves a certain way to others and it is not necessarily the way we are when in the comfort of our own homes.  After all, anytime personal interaction is at play, there is always a certain degree of putting on your best foot forward.  I'm digressing.  Let's try a different approach.
Normally, when I'm introduced to someone and they ask what I do, I default to saying that I'm a firefighter.  It is my primary occupation and so probably makes the most sense, but it is not the only answer I could give.  After all, I write novels and get paid.  It is certainly something I care a great deal about and to which I dedicate a large portion of my life.  When you think about it though, they didn't ask me what I did to make make money.  They asked what I do.  I could make a strong argument that the most important endeavor in my life and the thing that takes up the large majority of my time is being a father.  I don't think it has once occurred to me to give that answer.  I also take care of animals (three dogs and a guinea pig), I do yard work, I attempt to loose weight and stay in shape, I play ultimate Frisbee and fumble with a guitar.  So why choose firefighter and what does that say about how I view myself, how I define myself?  What does it mean about the definition I present to others?  There are a number of simple reasons why firefighter is my default answer, but should it be?
Let's take a hypothetical example and break it down.  What if you are a lawyer?  You introduce yourself as such and even your correspondence has the old esq. accompanying your signature.  Seems logical to attach a barrister label to your self definition, but how meaningful is it really?  It might be quite significant.  You might a have a deep passion for the law.  You might love your work and dedicate a great deal of time toward your job.  Maybe you thrive on debate in the courtroom and at home.  Your bookshelves are lined with John Grisham and Michael Connelly.  In that case I would say that being a lawyer might be a good way to define you.  What if, however, you became a lawyer because the money's good?  What if you do your job, do it well, but live for the weekend when you can sail, read romance novels, or run marathons?  How meaningful is that definition of you now?
There is certainly a practical side to all this and I realize that in normal everyday conversation if someone asked you what you do and you answer with "I read romance novels," they are going to think you are strange.  They are expecting you to tell them what you do to make money.  But why are they asking?  I would attest that the reason they are asking is to get a better idea of who you are and to most, a person's occupation is the best way to elicit that information.  But if you are a lawyer who spends every free moment you have reading romance books, which is more meaningful to understanding who you are is a person?
Personally, I have a hard time defining myself mostly because I feel like I'm in a constant state of flux.  I am a firefighter.  I worked very hard to become one and I love my job.  I look forward to going to work and spend nearly of third of my life there.  But then again, it's only a small part of who I am.  I don't spend a great deal of my remaining two thirds absorbed by firefighting.  I know many firefighters who do and for them, I would be more apt to define them as a firefighter.  They volunteer at firehouses on their days off, they really only talk about the job, they read almost exclusively fire related material.  A firefighter is who they are. 
So, how do I define myself?  Perhaps if I take some of the major facets of my life and ask two simple questions.  If "this" was taken away, how would you feel and what would you do?  Okay, so if I could no longer be a firefighter...I would be disappointed and if I couldn't find a way to write full time, I would have to get another job.  If I could no longer write books...I would be crushed and probably go a little crazy.  Can I write poems?  Haiku's maybe?  Can I take up painting letter shapes?  What if I were no longer a father...my heart would be broken and I would be a lost soul.
Hmm, what should I take from this?  Other than the fact that I think a bit of self analysis is always beneficial to keeping your priorities straight and setting goals for your life that will make you happy, I don't know.  Maybe I should start introducing myself differently.  Maybe I shouldn't.  Definitely food for thought.  I put it on you.  How would you define me?  How would you define yourself?

How to Juggle: 1 novel, 2 children, school, work and a flaming chainsaw!

Okay, so there isn't really a flaming chainsaw in this post and even if there were, it would certainly not be featured until the end, so no matter what, you'd have to read the whole post to get to the exciting part anyway.  It made the title sound a lot cooler though, so I hope you'll forgive me if I don't give you the instructions on how to bobble fiery blades of death.  Life can certainly feel like that sometimes though, and while it's only a metaphor, the balancing act required to give due attention to the many needy facets of our lives is often weighed down with the emending catastrophe of missing that perfect catch and throw.
I learned to juggle (the actual circus balls and rings kind) when I worked in a video store in college that got just a few more customers than a hamburger stand at a PETA convention.  I have no idea what possessed me to take up the hobby, other than boredom, but I did and to this day I still can't look at a bowl of fruit quite the same way.  As a metaphor, juggling has been used countless times, but I'd like to give it to you again from the perspective of someone who actually knows how to juggle.
You see, when everything is going as it is supposed to and assuming you have the requisite skill, juggling is rather easy.  There's a fluidity to the motion and the apples, balls, scarves just seem to fly around in perfect ellipses without much thought or effort on the part of the juggler.  That is until one single object goes just the slightest bit awry.  The entire act then changes dramatically from fluid ease to desperate correction.  Every movement has to be shifted to keep the objects flying.  Not too much or too little.  Just enough.  If you're lucky, you're able to get everything centered again and return to the effortless tosses, but more often then not, you're never able to fully recover.  The result.  Bruised apples, broken eggs and in the case of flaming chainsaws...well, you get the idea.
I find that life is often a lot like this, only most of the time we seem to always be in a constant state of adjustment and near failure.  Some people are better jugglers than others and always seem to balance everything with grace and skill.  It's easy to envy those people unless you are a juggler yourself and release how close they are to being in the same mild panic as everybody else.
On the surface I seem to have a lot of balls in the air.  I'm a father, a husband, a firefighter, a paramedic student, and independent author, a blogger, a guy trying to get back in shape, and...I'm sure there's other stuff, but you get the idea.  Most of the time (like anyone I have my moments) I would not appear to be a stressed out kinda guy.  How is that with all the stuff I have going on?  Well, it's not because I'm really good at juggling life, per say.  Usually those people are the highly organized types and that is certainly not me.  So what have I learned that maybe others have not?
The answer goes back to learning how to juggle.  You see, I think most people are afraid of what would happen if they let something fall through the cracks.  They aren't sure what to do, or how they would be able to get things working again.  They are afraid that once one piece falls, the whole act is going to fall apart.  And they are probably right.  But here's the thing.  When you're learning how to juggle, you also learn that you can't possibly keep it up forever.  Either you are going to decide to stop juggling, catch the balls and take a break, or they are going to fall all over the place.  It's not a matter of if, but when.  And when this happens, you simply take that break, or you pick the balls up and start over.  When you're learning to juggle, you do this over and over again.  This is when the metaphor becomes really useful.
If life is a juggling act, than it follows that at some point you have to take a break or accept the fall.  Either way, if you want to continue to be successful and get better at life/juggling, the only choice is to pick the balls back up and start over again.  The great thing is, the more you do this, the better you get, the less you fail and the less you have to start over on anything but your on terms.  It's a matter of perseverance mixed with a healthy dose of acceptance.        
Now first what you do is purchase three, light weight chainsaws, some lighter fluid...

Bucket Lists and Inspiration

About a year or so ago, I was given The Four Hour Body, by Tim Ferris.  While the book has its champions and opponents, I will admit that I was hooked from the first chapter.  From the moment I began reading Tim's book, I was found myself online, looking up YOUTUBE videos and reading his blog.  Mr. Ferris is an expert at self advertising and blogging so as a side note to all you struggling bloggers out there, there is a lot to be gained by checking out his blog.  That being said, today I read his post Playing B-Ball with Obama: 6 Steps to Crossing Anything Off Your Bucket List and found myself inspired.  The article is a guest post from Ben Nemtin about his project A Buried Life.  Apparently I'm out of touch a bit because these young men are quite popular and even have their own show on MTV.  What they have done with the simple idea of crossing off items from their collective bucket list is nothing short of amazing and one of the more inspirational stories I've heard in a long while.  Rather than repeat the nuances of their story, check out their website www.theburiedlife.com or Tim Ferris's blog.  What I would like to discus is what their story has led me to think about goals, life and experiences.
I believe it was John Lennon who said, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."  On the surface it seems such a simple, all be it witty quote, and in my youth I would have simply admired the pithiness of it and moved on.  As a somewhat middle aged adult however, the quote seems to take on a more significant meaning, especially for one such as myself who still has some pretty lofty dreams that haven't quite taken shape yet.  When I look at the young men from the Buried Life and examine Lennon's quote, a few interesting things emerge.  A lot of questions actually that have some rather difficult answers.
How many of us will reach old age and look back on the life we have lived and realized that we spent the majority of it planning and wishing for something else?  How many of us will say that we truly went after every dream we had, and whether we fell flat on our faces, we certainly gave it our all?  Will the majority be able to look back and say that they took the time to appreciate the life they had, while they were planning for something greater?
I am a perpetual dreamer.  There are actually times, I am reluctant to admit, that life seems quite transitory to me.  Even unreal.  Perhaps a better explanation would be that for me, life is still as it was through the eyes of a child.  I certainly take part in a great deal of adult endeavors and I put forth a great deal of time and effort into such activities.  I have a job, which I work hard to be good at.  I take pride in raising and caring for my children.  I even do yard work, sometimes even without my wife reminding me.  At the same time, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I'm not in the that, "grown up, this is my life" place.  I haven't gotten there yet, much like as a teenager, going to school and imagining what I wanted to do with my life, I was in a phase I had to pass through to get to where I wanted to be in life.  As I get older and older, while the feeling may not recede, the practical side of my psyche begins to dominate and I occasionally am hit with the realization that this is in fact my life.  I am in fact a grown up and dreams or no dreams, I'm smack dab in the meat and potatoes of living.
So what then am I to take from such inspirational young men as the Buried Life guys and the seemingly at odds quote from Lennon?  How does one reconcile these concepts?
Unfortunately I have only my own thoughts and not the answer, but as this is my blog, my thoughts are what you get.  My bucket list is not all that extensive, only because I haven't taken the time to write one down, but there are a few things which would certainly top the list if I were to put pen to paper on the subject.  I want to be a successful novelist.  I would like one day, to walk into a Barnes and Noble, see the hard back addition of my latest book on the shelf and sign a copy or two for some of the fans waiting in line to buy it.  I would like to have a flat stomach again.  No, I'll be honest.  I would like to have six pack abs.  I never said they were all lofty or noble goals.  As a paramedic, I would like to deliver a baby in the field.  I would like to dance at my daughters' weddings.  I would like to really learn to play the guitar.  (Once you start to write these things down, they start to come pretty fast)
I think the trick is to realize that while you should never stop dreaming, you should also never forget to live.  Part of that is taking real steps toward achieving your dreams.  Making them an active part of your life.  I like to think that I'm doing that with my writing now.  The other part, though, is to enjoy the time you have at this moment.  This moment where I'm writing a blog post, my books don't adorn the shelves at Barnes and Noble and in the next few minutes I'll be reading to my children snuggled up on the couch.  It would be great if we could all just take off across the country focusing only on our bucket lists and living each moment as if it were our last.  The fact is, that's not practical for 99% of us.  What we can do, however, is enjoy what we have, set our sights on loftiest dreams and enjoy the journey.  How great would it be if instead of reminiscing fondly about those days when we were barely getting by on Top Ramen and Spaghettioes and we found the last couple of bucks for the rent by turning over the couch cushions, we actually enjoyed them when they were happening.  How amazing would it be if instead of wondering how great it would have been to move to the country, we lived there?
As the great Ferris Bueller so aptly put it, "Life moves by pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it."